Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:24

This father brings his son to Jesus who has, from childhood, suffered from a spirit that would seize him causing him to be mute, foam at his mouth, and grind his teeth. You can almost feel the desperation this father must have felt, watching his son for years be controlled by this spirit. We then find out that he has already taken his son to see Jesus' disciples but they were unable to heal the boy. But still desperate for change, he believes Jesus has the power to heal his boy. After bringing him to Jesus he finally submits his request saying,

"But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us."

Not exactly a statement of firm faith, 'if you can do anything'. I see so much of my self in this father. I come before Jesus, but doubt his strength. I trust Jesus can change things, but doubt He will. But nonetheless, he is there. He is desperate before Jesus, bringing with him his doubts and questions. Listen to Jesus' response...

"'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes."

Jesus ensures the man that anything is possible. Jesus has the power to save, the power to heal, the power to restore his son. Jesus is all powerful, and He ensures the father of this. Yet, the father's fears, doubts, angst, desperation is not lost on Jesus. He is not lectured for his doubts, but rather, Jesus enters into the this man's struggle. Jesus hears the father's request and boldly states, "All things are possible for one who believes." The father, without hesitation, cries out to Jesus in response,

"I believe; help my unbelief!"

I resonate with the father. Here he is bringing his son because he has a fraction of belief that Jesus is who He says He is. That Jesus can save, but more out of desperation than out of conviction. There are things about Jesus that I am sure of, but there are plenty of areas in which I doubt. I am sure that Jesus is sufficient for my salvation. I am sure of his death and the imputed righteousness over my life. I tend to believe God for the "big things." But I find myself in the father's statement, "I believe; help my unbelief!" Because there are areas of my heart that haven't been renovated toward the things of God. There are areas of my heart that question and doubt, that still come to God more out of desperation than conviction. There are areas that desperately need more grace to cover my unbelief. For me, this shows itself, seemingly daily, in different ways...

I rely too much on the words of others for my validation. Help my unbelief.

I lust for things that are not mine, doubting that God is sufficient for me. Help my unbelief.

I trust my own ability to achieve righteousness through religious activity. Help my unbelief.

I choose sin over holiness thinking it is a better way than what Jesus promises. Help my unbelief.

Jesus' response to the fathers declaration is to heal the boy, not to scold or lecture the father on his unbelief. But he lovingly demonstrates to the Father His power again. He heals the boy as a testimony to his power. I think Jesus understands our struggle to trust. He understands that we need continual reminders that He is who He says He is. I find a great deal of comfort that Jesus gives room for unbelief. We don't have to have it all together before Jesus, we don't have to dress up our doubts in a thin vail of certainty so we don't appear weak before the God who knows our hearts. No, Jesus is ok with our questions. He is bigger than our doubts. He allows the father to declare his questions and doubts, Jesus leaves room for uncertainty.

Jesus leaves space at his feet for the broken, desperate, and the uncertain. And this is a beautiful truth of Jesus.

So for now, like the father, I am there in the presence of Jesus. It may be out of desperation, but I am there. Daily I will throw myself at the grace of God, because, ultimately, I know that there, in the presence of Jesus, I can lay down my unbelief and Jesus will not turn his face from me. I can come with questions and doubts and Jesus will listen to me. There is room for my insecurities and my sin. There is room for my uncertainty. Jesus invites me to bring it, all of it, to him, and to allow room for Him to renovate my heart.

The space before Jesus is vast and level. It is a space for all to come as they are, in doubt and uncertainty.

Jesus, I believe, but help my unbelief.

January 20, 2019

5 Quotes from MLK's - "Remaining Awake Through a Great Revolution"

As a student of theology and ethics, MLK Day is a sort of sacred day. I usually do two things, every MLK Day: first, I read through King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” and secondly, I set aside time for deep reflection on what it means to animate our faith in light of current social issues and repent for my own failure to embody Jesus’ vision for the Kingdom of God here-and-now.

It has been said that “many who quote him now would have hated him then”, and I think there is a lot of truth to that critique.

January 12, 2018

A Voice for Today: 5 Sermons by Martin Luther King Jr.

Among the most influential American figures stands Martin Luther King Jr. His courage and conviction continues to speak volumes for our current cultural moment. And every year when we celebrate MLK Day I make sure to spend time reading through sermons, writings, speeches, delivered by King and each year I am inspired by his ability to stand for nonviolence in the midst of violence, justice in the midst of injustice, and love in the midst of unthinkable hate. Below are 5 links to sermons written by Martin Luther King that I believe offer an enduring prophetic voice for our day.

May 23, 2017

A Story in Motion - Philippians: Part 2

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 1.3-6

For Paul, joy is the outworking of the Christian experience, it is not the end goal but rather a by product of the Christian experience. In this way, joy transcends circumstances. For Paul, this expression of joy in the midst of trial proves true in two ways, the present reality of God’s work and a future hope.

March 24, 2017

Grace. And. Peace. - Philippians: Part 1

Grace. And. Peace.

These are the opening words of Paul to the Philippians. In some sense it is Paul's traditional greeting, found in nearly every letter he writes in the New Testament. But in another sense, it is a complex and inspiring opening and of all the ways to open a letter Paul chooses, grace and peace.

First, grace.

Now, Paul is creative. The typical greeting in the Hellenistic world was the greek word, chairein - which simply means “greetings.”The word Paul uses is similar in sound but more layered in meaning, charis - which translates to “grace.” Traditionally understood, grace is the unmerited favor and acceptance given from God. And while certainly not wrong, if we stop there we are left with a flat understanding. For Paul, grace has layers, depth, and nuance.

January 10, 2017

One for the Lowly

On New Year's Day I had the opportunity to preach at Central Peninsula Church's North Campus. It was a part of their series answering the question "What child is this?" exploring the Christmas story through Jesus' embodiment and fulfillment of Old Testament texts.

December 28, 2016

Top 10 Books I Read in 2016

Certainly my love for reading is no secret, and one of the aspects of my time in seminary I have enjoyed the most is being exposed to an entire world of authors and thinkers I may or may not have come in contact with before. Natural this has caused my personal library to grow. Below are the top 10 books I read in 2016. Some are from required class reading, others are books I read for my own enrichment. Each title links to the book on Amazon, and below each title are a few quotes that I snagged as I flipped through my highlights from when I originally read the book to give you a taste of the book's focus. Would love to hear your favorite reads from 2016 that I can add to my reading list for 2017!

December 20, 2016

Advent of Hope: The Wait

Advent is about, the wait. It is about recognizing that the world has grown weary and is longing for something more. It is the recognition that something has gone wrong and we wait for a new day.

Advent is about, the hope. It affirms that God is not distant, but present and active. God has not abandoned his world.

Advent is about, the call. It is a story that we are called to embody. As God entered our story, we too enter the brokenness around us bringing hope and a new tomorrow.

August 31, 2016

5 Things Worth Your Time - Part 15

Every Wednesday I post a handful of articles, blog posts, videos, columns, books or anything I find interesting and worth your time. Ranging from thought-provoking to funny to ridiculous, most are things I stumbled upon in the past week. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading along!

"Short Read" = 10 Minutes or less. "Long Read" = 10 Minutes or longer.

February 10, 2016

The Slow Work of the Heart - Latest Sermon

Hello Friends -

A few weeks back I was able to share a message I wrote that explores the process by which transformation takes place. For followers of Jesus, we often find ourselves struggling to embody the same ethic, grace, and compassion that Jesus embodied. We struggle, we work, we battle ourselves all in an effort toward Christlikeness. However, in Matthew 11:28 Jesus says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." How does one find rest in the pursuit of Christlikeness? Dallas Willard says it best...